running-journal

i miss you running!

Wed, 29 Jun 2011 05:12:16 +0100

Will I ever have time to run again????? Who knows!!! If I could have just one or two more hours in the day!

uh-oh

Mon, 27 Jun 2011 04:02:33 +0100

I got a tiny run in last night. I think Im in trouble for Leahs race in July. I havent had any time to run. none! Getting up earlier isnt an option and by the time bed comes around theres bears and wolves outside so I cant run out there after my kiddos go to bed. Ack! Guess come July 16 I'll have to wing the race and just push it to the finish line.

:-(

Thu, 23 Jun 2011 23:29:42 +0100

I just realized I haven't run since Sunday. AACK!!! No wonder I have this jittery energy about to burst out my eye balls. I have no time till Saturday to got for one either. Guess I'll have to make it a turbo run!!!

06-18-11

Sat, 18 Jun 2011 19:05:21 +0100

Went down to canal park today for my five mile run. It was grandmas marathon....uuuggg! Turned around and came home. Went five miles all together here. It was SO HUMID! Had to stop running after two miles and do interval training. People must have passed me on the road and thought I was crazy running as fast as I could. Running in the humidity drains every ounce of energy. Blaak.
At least I went and feel good. Off to the party!

06/15/2011

Thu, 16 Jun 2011 03:08:56 +0100

Went for a treadmill run tonight after a long day. Went 4.7 miles, only ran 3.8 of them. Did sprints and hills. HATE hills. but all in all I felt great. After I stopped, I had so much more in me, I could have easily pushed myself another mile or two but didnt feel like it. So now showered, I'm going to go drink my protein shake (mmmm) and read for awhile. Im drinking a lot of protein shakes because I started losin weight again. That really is frustrating because I'm making such an effort to get stronger, not skinnier. The shakes help. Plus my muscles feel better faster. I can push a bit harder and re cooperate a bit faster. Go Me!

4.5 miles 06/13/2011

Tue, 14 Jun 2011 03:44:54 +0100

I love running. Went on the treadmill tonight. Hate treadmills. But to spice it up I ran sprints for two minutes - ran light for two minutes. Alternating. Went 4.5 miles and actually felt great again after wards. Mid way through I got a bit bored so I ran up hill for a few. That got my blood running! So- a good night all in all. Plus, before I started I was having a hard Leah night. Made myself go for the run and pushed all that crap out of me. Now I feel refreshed. Showered and smellin good I'm headed to bed. Court tomorrow. eek!

06/11/2011

Sun, 12 Jun 2011 14:28:21 +0100

Went for a run last night. I decided to head out with no plans and no time limits to burn. I just went and relaxed. And in doing that, I was able to run five miles. I had to stop twice to walk at the bottom of two gargantuan hills. But mid-way up I started running again. It felt great to be at it. I have no idea what my time was but I dont care. I concentrated on my form. I think thats why my legs have been off. Im not running right. I also think last week I pushed myself way to hard and ended up over-thinking myself out. So...I'm back to doing it for the shear joy of it. That way, no matter how far I go, or how fast I'm proud of myself in the end. Headed to meeting!!!

why? Why? GGRR? Frustration???

Fri, 10 Jun 2011 02:13:50 +0100

Ive been running for awhile. Not as far as a lot of people and I always preferred nice easy going miles to fast paced craziness. Last year at my sister Leahs race, I had been running five miles in 45 minutes. And on race day I did it in 46 minutes. I was so annoyed about it. I have never been competitive but it ate at me. I also had a friend run it with me and he ran it in 37 minutes. That- has also eaten at me. I keep thinking that If i had just pushed myself a little more I could have done so much better. Why didnt I? Why in that moment of pain did I not push through it? The muscle is in there. Waiting to be used fully. Why does my brain back down and make me stop pushing? So I started pushing myself to go further, faster. Which ended up giving me runners knee and pulling a ligament. Stupid - I know. I went to the doctor and he started me back at one mile and lots of stretches. Its very hard to be patient when your inherently NOT patient. I want to get there, get it done, get to that feeling of "yes! I did it" But you cant do that in running.
So Ive started slow. I worked myself back up to a steady three miles. Yes, I can push to go eight minutes each. I was for awhile there. I did 4 miles in 32 minutes. And was so happy. But than poof! I hit a wall. Every time I run, I eat healthy, I warm up and stretch mega afterward. I have a water pack and good music. So why have my legs hurt the last few weeks of jogging? My calves feel like they just aren't getting oxygen. Even if I run a super easy two miles. I have to mentally force myself to keep going. Thats not fun!
When everything goes crazy in my life I dive into running hard. Which is probably why that and getting out in service is all I ever want to do now days. So here I am. Bugged with myself. I need to run Leah's race. I need to get a good time. Something I'm proud of. 46 minutes is not ok. JUST finishing, isn't ok. I don't care if I win, but I have to give it my everything. Ive had it grilled into my head the past few years that I'm nothing and capable of nothing. Running this race as best as I can is my way of pushing back and saying, you know what, your wrong. But what if I dont fully believe that?

I'll run tomorrow. Nice and easy, no expectations. Maybe I'm just mentally grilling myself out of it. Gotta get back to loving it because its fun.