stupid computers and my sister
Posted by lizzy Grover on Saturday, May 21, 2011
Ok so im a bit ticked. We just had such a nice night. Played cards with alot of people I love. (lost badly) Than after everyone left and the parental units went to bed I decided to come on the computer. I've had this poem kinda swimming around in my head since this afternoon. Figured I'd get it out before its gone. So I open up word and type away, fingers flying. Go back, tweak some things and than keep working at it. It was getting good and it really meant something to me. It was about Leah, but it wasnt a sad poem. I mean it was but in a really good way. And than POOF! I hit a button and its gone. Does anyone know how often I do that? I blame this high tech computer of my fathers. We cant have a normal computer with normal buttons and normal screens.....we have to have a computer that does everything for you with the stroke of one key. One key on this thing makes everything disappear and I haven't the fainest idea which one. all I know is I'm very adept at hitting it!
The poem was about the last day I saw my sister Leah. The day I had Linkon. She left a few hours afterward. I remember hugging her really tight. She had come the night before to. She was so excited to be able to get off work and be there with no kids. She sat and knitted in her pink scrubs. lol to this day I have trouble seeing scrubs. Or even talking about them. Isnt it weird the things that bother us after an accident like this. Everyone in this family has something that bothers them. Something little and odd that when we think of it, no matter what mood we were in...everything comes rushing back.
I remember Leah called me the next day. She wanted to come down but Heidi was sick. Did you know her last words to me were I love you. I'd give anything to have that phone call back. Or the day before. I was having Link so I was a bit preoccupied with the insane pain i was in.... if only I had paid more attention to her. I remember she would come in and I couldnt even talk I hurt so bad. I could only moan....and the way she looked at me, you could actually see that she was in pain to. The concern in her eyes is something I will never forget. I remember for a long time afterwards I was so angry with myself. If only i had had Linkon a few days later, maybe she would have been at the hospital with me and not heading to work. i know thats not true. And the wonderful thing in all of this was that Leah did see Linkon. I remember laughing so hard. Derek didnt want ANYONE in the room but us. Where as I wanted my whole family. I wanted my mom and my sisters there. After all I'm the one pushing this kid out...shouldnt I have a say? But no was my answer. So everyone stood in the room but on the other side of the curtain....and I remember looking over mid way through and seeing Leahs big smiling face. lol. She didnt care what Derek said. She was gonna be there period! And that is how i will always remember her. A person who loved intensely. And was always always there for me. Always.
And no matter how I try I cant re-create the poem. a word is off or a sentence doesn't sound right. .....
@#&%^(*! and ><"!)*/*@@@%#%
The poem was about the last day I saw my sister Leah. The day I had Linkon. She left a few hours afterward. I remember hugging her really tight. She had come the night before to. She was so excited to be able to get off work and be there with no kids. She sat and knitted in her pink scrubs. lol to this day I have trouble seeing scrubs. Or even talking about them. Isnt it weird the things that bother us after an accident like this. Everyone in this family has something that bothers them. Something little and odd that when we think of it, no matter what mood we were in...everything comes rushing back.
I remember Leah called me the next day. She wanted to come down but Heidi was sick. Did you know her last words to me were I love you. I'd give anything to have that phone call back. Or the day before. I was having Link so I was a bit preoccupied with the insane pain i was in.... if only I had paid more attention to her. I remember she would come in and I couldnt even talk I hurt so bad. I could only moan....and the way she looked at me, you could actually see that she was in pain to. The concern in her eyes is something I will never forget. I remember for a long time afterwards I was so angry with myself. If only i had had Linkon a few days later, maybe she would have been at the hospital with me and not heading to work. i know thats not true. And the wonderful thing in all of this was that Leah did see Linkon. I remember laughing so hard. Derek didnt want ANYONE in the room but us. Where as I wanted my whole family. I wanted my mom and my sisters there. After all I'm the one pushing this kid out...shouldnt I have a say? But no was my answer. So everyone stood in the room but on the other side of the curtain....and I remember looking over mid way through and seeing Leahs big smiling face. lol. She didnt care what Derek said. She was gonna be there period! And that is how i will always remember her. A person who loved intensely. And was always always there for me. Always.
It would have been a nice poem.