random thoughts.
Posted by lizzy Grover on Thursday, June 9, 2011
So these last few days havent gone as I planned. Things always get moved around. And now instead of service that was my plan this morning, I'm sitting here drinking coffee with a corny pirate song on in the back round. Cartoon network. In my new apartment there will be no TV in the living room. One, I just really dont watch that much of it. And two, when my kids do sit down to watch a movie or a show....NOT hearing the barbie music would be great. That way they can be in the other room and I can have my music on and putz around getting things done.
Purdee wanted to snuggle with me this morning. I tried to get her a blanket to cuddle up in and she said "no want you, mommies are warm and cozy." Made me so happy. Im not really sure why. So, of course I had to stop and snuggle a little. After all, if someone needs your warm and cozy your not going to deny them are you??
I didnt get to sign my papers yesterday. My lawyer went into labor. Of course. But I will get to tomorrow hopefully. I want to SO bad. All we have to do is sign than the papers are brought before a judge and he signs and than poof, divorced!!! And on with my life.
You know before when all this started. I had all these plans with my life. I planned on never dating again, pioneering, traveling, being on my own. But you know what I realized? Ive been on my own for almost seven years. Being married to Derek wasnt like living in a normal partnership. I still did everything on my own and he was rarely home. I took care of the kids myself, the bills, the house. I had to. He wasnt there. So now being here isnt that different except that I'm happy. And worth it. So other than pioneering. Which I want to do so badly. I have no plans. One day at a time. And what I can fit in, I'm going to do, because I can. Am I going to date again someday. Id hope so. Not sure who on earth would date me...but details..... I cant wait for life. Even if it consists of not doing much but getting by each day, it will be my little life.
Happy Me.
Purdee wanted to snuggle with me this morning. I tried to get her a blanket to cuddle up in and she said "no want you, mommies are warm and cozy." Made me so happy. Im not really sure why. So, of course I had to stop and snuggle a little. After all, if someone needs your warm and cozy your not going to deny them are you??
I didnt get to sign my papers yesterday. My lawyer went into labor. Of course. But I will get to tomorrow hopefully. I want to SO bad. All we have to do is sign than the papers are brought before a judge and he signs and than poof, divorced!!! And on with my life.
You know before when all this started. I had all these plans with my life. I planned on never dating again, pioneering, traveling, being on my own. But you know what I realized? Ive been on my own for almost seven years. Being married to Derek wasnt like living in a normal partnership. I still did everything on my own and he was rarely home. I took care of the kids myself, the bills, the house. I had to. He wasnt there. So now being here isnt that different except that I'm happy. And worth it. So other than pioneering. Which I want to do so badly. I have no plans. One day at a time. And what I can fit in, I'm going to do, because I can. Am I going to date again someday. Id hope so. Not sure who on earth would date me...but details..... I cant wait for life. Even if it consists of not doing much but getting by each day, it will be my little life.
Happy Me.