Ok so I'm writing this letter to anyone who has read my blog in the past.  I need to clarify.  I wrote in my blog on a day to day basis.  What I was feeling right than and there.  Thats what I wanted to do. And it was true and honest.  I ended up having a lot of people say they were encouraged by my love for the truth.  But I dont want anyone thinking I have always been this way.  While married to Derek I wasn't allowed out in service. Well, I did sneak out, but no where near as much as I so wanted to.   My love for the truth over comes anything and I am now here and have the opportunity finally to be out in service as much as I can.  I am regular auxiliary pioneering with my two kids and working towards regular pioneering.  It was brought to my attention I made myself seem like a missionary or that I have been pioneering for years upon years.  I'm so concerned about that comment, because in no way did I mean to make it seem like that.  I make more mistakes than the average person on any given day and would never want anyone to feel I think more of myself than I do.  I owe Jehovah my life.  As I have been in the world, I've felt whats inside ones heart, while in the world, I know truly and deeply how much we all need Jehovah and out brothers and sisters.  His organization is such a blessing.  I only wish words could express how I feel about it.  Being out in service is the most freeing, wonderful, trying thing anyone could ever do.  Its made me lean on Jehovah like never before.  But the happiness it brings to my life brings tears to my eyes.  

With me, what you read is what you get.  I forget sometimes people haven't always known me....and thank goodness for that.  My old me wasnt the best.  But I am open and honest and ready to live life.  And if anyone was under the impression I was pioneering for years or doing better than I am, please accept my apologies.   Now, the truth is my life. I have goals to reach and I will get there.   I just couldn't live if I knew I mislead or offended someone.